Drinking Games in the Gryffindor Common Room
by i fancy some honeydukes
Summary: Marauder era story, in which the Gryffindors find creative ways to get sloshed. all in good fun, of course! M for language and slight sexual innuendo, to be safe.
1. I've Never

a bit more mature than my usual. i can't help it if my teenage mind works this way. might be a one shot, but there are so many other possibilities, that there very well might be more chapters! well, cheers!

* * *

I've Never

It was Halloween evening, and the 6th year Gryffindors were _bored._

They had just returned from the feast, and forced everyone under 5th year to their dorms, and here they sat, _bored_ on their last Halloween in the castle! Sure, the girls were chatting, and a few blokes had taken out some Exploding Snap or Wizard's Chess, but that easily could have been a scene from any other night! This was Halloween, for Merlin's sake, and they were boring.

Sirius Black would not have it.

"OKAY, RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY," a slightly tipsy, soon to be smashed Sirius Black yelled to the room. James Potter shook his head, smiling slightly.

"Padfoot, you haven't told them what game we were going to play. I'VE NEVER, EVERYONE!" A loud cheer went through the room, one that praised the Marauders for starting a party, and one for being able to procure a stable amount of firewhiskey for said party. Something about having both Head students in Gryffindor had at first made the Gryffindors apprehensive about this party, but they all knew everything would be just fine after Lily Evans admitted, you only live once, and downed a shot of amber liquid.

The various upperclassmen arranged themselves into something like a circle- there were a lot of them, almost fifty. "_Good thing Prongs and I had all this firewhiskey stored up," _Sirius thought to himself, as he and James surveyed the circle. Once again, Sirius yelled to the circle, "WHO DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY? If you raise your hand, get the hell to bed. Anyone that doesn't know is too bloody inexperienced," he glared menacingly to them. No one moved, and he beamed. "Excellent. Let's start."

"Evans. You start."

"Potter, there's really no need to showcase how obsessed with me you are at this moment."

"I'm only trying to look out for you, seeing as the first person doesn't have to drink right away."

"We're all going to be completely smashed by the end of this game, I doubt it will matter."

"AHEM," Sirius coughed loudly, "when you two are _finished_…?" he trailed off. Lily blushed a little bit, and smirked. "Potter, go ahead and start," she paused thoughtfully, "unless you don't have anything good to admit to never having done?" she smiled sweetly at him, probably hitting a nerve, because immediately he said,

"I've never snogged Lily Evans."

To his dismay (and her chagrin), many people took a shot of the burning liquid. James looked around to his housemates and was unpleasantly surprised. _Davies? What a prat. Diggory too. Prat. Montreal? What the hell? He's not going to be playing chaser anymore. Wait. Marlene McKinnon? Sweet Merlin, what a visual. MOONY? PADFOOT? WHAT THE FUCK?_ He stopped fuming in time to take a quick glance at Lily, who was wearing a look of something like a mix of embarrassment and smugness. Odd combination. James turned to Sirius and said, "It's your turn. By the way, traitor is a good color on you." Sirius just grinned and only said, "Mate, don't blame me because Marlene bloody McKinnon got to snog Lily and you never did. But _Merlin_, what a visual!"

James pretended that he hadn't thought the same thing a few seconds ago.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, the as the case may be, it was Sirius's turn next. There wasn't much that this particular Marauder _hadn't _done though, and he was drawing a loss as to what he might be able to say. In the end, his mature sixteen year old mind came up with, "I've never gone a whole day not wearing some type of underclothes," he announced gracefully. "And, I now realize that I fully need to do that before the time for us to graduate comes," he finished. Remus grimaced at the thought of this, and watched in horror and fascination as at least a quarter of the game players took shots of firewhiskey. _There is something twisted about the students in this school_, he thought to himself. He and Sirius and pretty much every other straight bloke in the room, didn't fail to notice that most of the ones drinking were girls. Once again, Sirius spoke for every male player of the game. "Merlin. What a _visual._"

The game proceeded in this manner, steadily getting dirtier and filthier as the teenagers grew smashed, and more smashed.

There wasn't too much that the members of the house of Gryffindor hadn't done. Must have had something to do with recklessness, because things like '_shagging in the library' _and '_going skinny dipping in the Black Lake'_ were not things that took courage or bravery. They were things that took great stupidity and wildness. For every turn, there were only one or two that _didn't_ drink besides the speaker. This resulted in a very sloshed group of upperclassmen about two hours after they had started. People started to become bolder, flirtier as time went by, looking directly at the person they hoped was hearing what they hadn't done, or hoped to do in the very near future. James in particular was staring at Lily as he proudly announced he had never snogged anyone in the passage between the Great Hall and the Gryffindor tower. The other Marauders did not miss this, and Remus promptly said, slurring a bit, "Prongs, quit drooling and drag Evans behind that statue out there." James looked up at Lily, who was a little bit more than drunk, and she surprisingly complied. She walked over to the portrait hole and said in her best come hither voice,

"Following, Potter?"

James quickly got up and dragged Lily out of the common room, followed by wolf whistles and cheers, emanating mostly from Sirius. Various couples filed out of the common room, inspired by their show of affection. Sirius Black looked around and realized in his hazy mind, that when everyone woke up tomorrow, they would have splitting headaches and no idea how that particular bird or bloke ended up in their bed. As he showed a pretty brunette 7th year the 6th year boys dorm, and followed her in to reap the rewards of initiating a wonderful drinking game in the Gryffindor Common Room.

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review? should i continue? i might anyway. i rather enjoy writing from a teenage point of mind, as that's my natural state. feedback welcomed!


	2. Shots

Well, I enjoyed writing the first one, so here is another chapter of Drinking Games in the Gryffindor Common Room! I hope you enjoy it. JKR owns! cheers!  


* * *

Shots

"Time for the Quidditch after party boys," Sirius Black said breezily to his three friends as they arrived in their dormitory. "Now, I know we're all used to getting smashed without a thought during these, and falling into bed with a random bird _after_-" James laughed. "Actually, Padfoot, that's usually _you_ that falls into bed with some bird. The rest of us have the common sense to snog whoever it is in the common room." He continued to laugh. Sirius shot him a look before continuing,

"_Anyway_, I don't want to do that this time!" he told the astonished group.

Remus stared at his friend. "Wait, you, Sirius Black, don't want to get abso-fucking-lutely _smashed_ at a party partly in _your _honor?" he asked in horror. James and Peter stared at the two others. Here was prefect Remus Lupin, having to _persuade_ Sirius Black to get smashed?

"You're Sirius fucking Black. Why is it that Moony is convincing you to get smashed after a bloody brilliant Quidditch match?" James asked his best friend, a little worriedly.

"That's _not_ what I said guys!" Sirius wailed, "What I _meant_ was that I wanted to play a game that would _cause_ me to get sodding _wasted_!" he exclaimed with enthusiasm. The other Marauders gave him an incredulous look. "_What_?" he asked then, a little bit down that they weren't so keen on his idea. The other three looked at each other, as if silently drawing straws mentally. Peter cursed under his breath and spoke up.

"Well, Sirius, it's just that we just had a drinking game. Remember on Halloween when we played I've Never?" he asked cautiously. Sirius just looked at him and said, "Well _so_? So what if we just had a drinking game?" he asked. It was apparently James's turn to respond.

"Well, it was hard enough getting Lily to agree to one game where everyone gets deliberately smashed…" he trailed off. Remus picked up with, "Yeah, she's the _good_ prefect, remember?"

Sirius just looked at his three friends, an astonished look on his face. "Well was _that_ your only problem with it?" he asked them. There was a general murmur of agreement and nods of heads. "Good _Merlin_ I thought you had a problem with the _idea_!" he nearly yelled at them. They looked astonished. Remus shook his head again.

"Padfoot, you haven't even _told_ us your grand sodding idea yet," he pointed out. Sirius grinned.

"Oh don't worry Moony," he smirked, "You'll find out _all_ about it soon enough," he continued as he walked out the door, leaving the other three Marauders just as confused as they had been in the beginning.

* * *

TWO HOURS LATER

* * *

The party had just started, and the Marauders were in their dorms per Sirius's request, waiting. That's when he walked in with Lily Evans, Marlene McKinnon, Mary Macdonald, and Olivia Moody in tow. All the sixth years stood in the Marauder dorm, and the three Marauders were wondering where this was going. Knowing Sirius, it might be life threatening. Lily spoke up.

"So, judging by the looks on your faces, Sirius hasn't told you what the hell we plan on doing tonight either?" she asked them, laughing lightly. Marlene jumped in at that moment.

"Well, Sirius and I had an idea for getting smashed tonight," she said slyly. The others exchanged worried glances.

"What exactly did you have in mind, Marlene?" James asked slowly.

"Well _we_," Marlene said, putting the emphasis on _we_, "Heard about this game from some of the Ravenclaws after their…defeat party," she sniggered. "And Sirius will tell you the re-"

"JUST TELL US YOUR SODDING IDEA!" Remus yelled, taking all of them by surprise. He looked taken aback himself. Sirius just rolled his eyes.

"I always knew Remus was nothing but a closet alcoholic. Anyway, we're going to play SHOTS!" he exclaimed. This was met by generally blank faces around the room.

"Sirius, we _always_ take shots," Lily explained, as if to a four year old. He was already shaking his head.

"No, no Lils, this is different!" he said, his face shining with excitement, "I'll explain how we play: every time someone says the word 'Quidditch,' we take a shot. Whatever's around," he continued, "firewhiskey, regular whiskey, tequila…we have almost everything," he smirked. Marlene continued where Sirius left off, "This means, however, that we have to stick together tonight. Keep each other accountable and all that shit," she laughed. Lily and Remus looked a little incredulous, but in the end agreed, and the sixth year Gryffindors made their way down to the party.

* * *

"Potter! Black! That was a bloody _excellent_ Quidditch match out there!"

"I can't believe how well you two play Quidditch! Merlin that was a game!"

"Potter, you've put together an excellent Quidditch team this year."

"Marlene, don't you just love Quidditch? Always a good excuse for a party."

"Lily I saw you at the Quidditch match today, are you finally coming around to the sport?"

The group looked at each other. It had hardly been fifteen minutes. They all turned to Sirius, who was holding eight shot glasses stacked up on top of each other, grinning. Lily shook her head and turned to Olivia.

"Merlin, this is going to be a long night. Bloody Quidditch."

* * *

By midnight, the sixth year Gryffindors were very, very drunk. They'd had to switch to cups of butterbeer after a couple hours, for fear of passing out before the party was over. The players of the game were hardly keeping each other "accountable" any more. Sirius was off in a corner with not one, not two, but _three_ girls, taking the time to snog each one in shifts. Mary, the smallest of the group, was passed out on one of the couches, where a very drunk Peter was snogging Cera Soelo, and an equally gone Olivia Moody was asleep on top of some other person, also asleep. James's face was numb, and he was still holding a half-full cup of butterbeer. Remus Lupin and Lily were off in a corner, talking about absolutely nothing, trying to stay in their right minds, and failing.

James walked overto them and sat on one of the stairs. He missed and ended up on the on below them.

"So how goes it with my two faaavoritte Gryfflepuff prefectorios?" he slurred. Lily fell into a fit of giggles, holding her own empty cup. Remus hiccupped.

"I think it's safe to say…I think it's safe…wait I said already that…" he tried to say, but couldn't quite get the words right.

"Sirius is a bloody twit," Lily slurred, goofily smiling at the two boys, but meaning every word she thought she said. It really came out more like, "Sirius is a…" before passing out in Remus's lap.

* * *

The next day, all eight sixth years woke up with pounding headaches. They were laid out on various covers and cushions in the Marauder dormitory.

"What the _hell_ happened? And _why_ am I in here?" she whispered to James, who was clearly awake, but had his eyes shut tight against the light streaming through the window.

"Well, after multiple attempts trying to get you girls up those fucking stairs, we decided this was best," he whispered back, equally as hungover as Lily. She shook her head.

"Fucking Merlin. That is the _last _time we play a drinking game in the Gryffindor common room."

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well, review! any feedback is welcome. should i continue? i hope you liked it!


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